This is a continuation of a previous post. Be sure to read part one of No? What do you mean no?

When we left off last time, I was telling about being stunned by rejection. The campaign chair and I had just asked a long-time friend of the organization to invest in our current project.

His answer: “No. I can’t do that.”

Rather than folding up our folios and walking out the door, we probed a bit further. You see, “no” can mean several different things. It’s critically important that you take time to drill down and understand what the prospect means when he or she tells you no.

In Part I, we talked about how sometimes “no” really means “not this amount.” We also observed that sometimes “no” really means “not this project.”

So now, on to the final two types of “no”:

Sometimes “no” really means “this isn’t a good time”

There’s an old saying: timing is everything. We all go through ups and downs in our lives, and your donors are no different. Illness, job loss,  and the children’s “unexpected turns” are common reasons for timing to be poor.

Many of the major donors I’ve worked with are business owners. One gentleman shared with me that he couldn’t give because he was investing heavily in a new business line. Because of the capital required, his cash flow would be really tight for the next few years.

“On the other hand,” he told me (with a sly grin), “if this thing takes off like we expect, there will more money available for gifts to folks doing good work…like you.”

We agreed to keep in touch and, true to his word, he made a major commitment when he was in a better position.

Sometimes “no” really means “NO! As in NEVER! As in GET LOST!”

Let’s be honest, this is exactly what your staff and board think about when they tell you, “You’re so brave. I hate fundraising.”

In truth, though, this type of “no” hardly ever happens. It’s happened to me a few times, and in retrospect I should have seen it coming.

Why do potential donors say “get lost?” There are a few reasons.

Sometimes we make the mistake of assuming more interest on the part of the prospect than is really there. Our enthusiasm colors what we hear.

Sometimes we fail to do the necessary cultivation. Sometimes we fail to adequately recognize previous gifts. Unfortunately, you might even run into a situation where a previous staff person made an egregious and offensive error. It happens.

It’s not a great experience, but it isn’t the end of the world either. Even though I’ve been told to “get lost,” no one ever turned the dogs out on me.

When you are told to get lost, I’ve found it best to put a note in the file and move on. The last thing I do is send a nice handwritten note with some conciliatory language. It’s the courteous things to do, and might begin to heal the relationship.

Back to Mr. Prospect

Okay, now for the conclusion of the story of Mr. Prospect. As it turns out, he had considered his support of the previous campaign to be a sort of “parting gift.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” he said, “I still admire the work you’re doing, and I’m flattered to be asked, but I’ve poured so much into that place. I really feel it’s someone else’s turn to take the baton and run with it.”

“Besides,” he continued, “my wife and I have developed a couple of new passions that we are giving to currently. And, honestly, we’re focused on enjoying retirement. We’ve worked hard for our money, and now it’s time to spend some of it.” I couldn’t argue with that.

All was not lost, though. “We do have your organization listed in our will, so when that time comes you’ll get part of whatever is left.” A good reminder to always be gracious and never burn a bridge.

So, that’s what “no” really means

Now I want to hear from you. Have I covered all the hidden meanings of the word “no”? Or did I miss one? Leave a comment below!

Darren Macfee is the founder of the Nonprofit Wizards. His life purposes are to dispense homespun wisdom, grill a perfect meal for his family, and help nonprofit leaders create amazing results for and through their organizations. Follow him on Twitter @DarrenMacfee or send him an enote. Be sure to sign up for alerts to be sure you never miss a post.

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